Heather, So in Love

7:13am: new journal?
Yeah, i made a new one..heatherrrlynnn. add it please.

this one is getting deleted.

12:41am: UPDATEEE
Okay, soo.. They Might Be Giants was really good. I loved it. Now I just can't wait for MSI may 8. And I really hope I get to see nine inch nails. That'll basically complete my list of bands I really wanna see.

Anyway.. Jonathan got like all of his hair chopped off. I can't decide whether I like it or not.. it'll take me time.

May 3 is hopefully my USP visit, and Jonathans banquet. I cant wait to see him get an award. Instead of him supporting me on my 582 award for something or another, I finally get to support him and be proud of him. =)

May 5 is the Dining out. Eh.. I can think of better things to do, but I'm going to make the most of it.

I still have like 70 dialectical journal entries, and I think I might die to get out of doing them. This is horrible.

Other than that, everything is either going well, or just there.

<33, hEATHER

10:41pm: update.
Okay.. soo.. instead of going to drexel, he's going to CCBC, then transferring to UMBC.

We're going to his robot thing on Saturday, not the Drexel thing, and I cancelled my appointment with USP.

We moved down the basement, and it looks pretty nice.

I feel so much better in the past week than I have in a long time.

Today was awesome, thanks Mooks.

That's pretty much it.

oh, They Might Be Giants THURSDAYYYYY!!.

I rock, so on and so forth.

<33, hEATHER

12:15am: congrats baby :)
Today, Jonathan got a letter saying HE WAS ACCEPTED TO DREXEL UNIVERSITY!!! That's totally amazing, considering that's a REALLY good technology school. He's going to major in computer engineering. He's a fucking tech god. On May 3, he's getting an award at a CTE Dinner for outstanding achievement in technology.. meaning he's the best of the best from his school, and probably the whole county. And I'm not saying that just cause I love him.

I cant believe he's actually leaving. When he got it, and read he was accepted.. I cried. I'm just so scared.. I cant help it. I'm really really proud of him though.

An accepted students day for Drexel is on Sat. April 22.. the same day as his robot thingy.. so he'll do that on Sunday. We're going to miss school that Friday, and go on a tour of USP (University of the Sciences in Philadelphia), a college that I love, that's only 5 minutes away!!! Then we're going to spend the night at a hotel and go to the drexel thing the next day. It's awesome we get to stay at a hotel, just us. I mean, we've spent the night before... that's no big deal, but this is just us.. with a hotel room to ourselves.. you can just imagine what we have planned. =).

I can't wait. Oh, and May 3, the same day as his banquet, theres a juniors day at USP.

Suddenly I got busy.

Jonathan is moving down the basement over spring break too, to give us more privacy, and more room for when I spend the night.

This move is crazy, and theres dust EVERYWHERE, including my lungs. I woke up early this morning wheezing. Hopefully that stops soon.

Things are finally looking up for me.. oh, and I'm seeing a counselor.. Trina. I like her a lot, and we're working on my irritability, and anxiousness.

ha.

Man.. my life suddenly changed in one day.

<33, hEATHER

LOOOONG ENTRY <3

10:47pm: A sigh of relief
ahhhh. Finally, its all over. Formal Inspection went awesome. We got a gold star.. Honor Unit with Distinction. The highest you can get. I'm so fucking proud of myself, because I ran 600 points of that 1000, and I went up to brief 3 times. I so rock. I got promoted, I'm now Captain Heather Green. And everyone clapped, and congratulated me, and was really happy, which made me feel good.

In other news... I bought a pink razr (y'know, the phone), for $100. It came with all kinds of crazy accessories, and it was a really great deal considering retail price if well over $400, and even on ebay they're over $200. I rock, once again. Oh, and also, I've almost paid off my debt from that pink 60 gig ipod I bought. Ha. I still owe 40 on it, but that isn't much considering it was $300.

I still haven't called the number for "mental health" as my doctor said, but I will. I really need it.

School has been going a lot better.. My grades have come up. Heres how I stand.
JROTC: A?
COLLEGE ALG: B+ (hopefully A)
C.I.P.: A (hopefully that stays)
APUSH: D, but close to a C
APENG: haha, E.

Well.. I'm not doing as bad as I was, and I love love love who I sit next to in history/english. Our row rocks, and we have so much fun. I sit in between Kirsten Kuhn, and Anthony Spinnato. God I love them. <3 to them!!

Jonathan and I are doing great, as usual. I can't help that I'm in love.

<33, hEATHER.

5:56pm: 4 days!!!
oh god. 4 days. I can't handle this. I'm so scared its ridiculous.

Saturday = SLEEPOVER.
It's going to be me, Kate, Rinn, Ashtin, Sam, Emily, and maybe Christie. It should be fun, especially because I got into an argument with her last night. But whatev, not a big deal. It didn't hurt my feelings in any way, and I didn't even get bent out of shape. Maybe its not just the fact that I have no regards for people.. just her and Justin.

Sunday = LUNCHEON.
Sunday I have to leave Kates early because I still have things to do for formal inspection, and I have a VFW luncheon to go to honoring the top cadet in our JROTC. I'm kind of nervous about that because I'll be there with police officers, and firefighters, and people like that getting honored too. What if I mess up, or act like a total jackass? ugh.

Monday = NEVER ENDING SCHOOL.
Okay, so I'll probably be at school till like 9. The past few days I've been there till 5, and then 4. We're practicing so much its totally ridiculous, but we need it, because when I do a better job briefing someone else's slide for them, theres a problem. I have to go up 3 times... I begin it, I'm in the middle, and then I end it. God am I scared.

and then..

Tuesday = SCARIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

I'd hate to see how much more stressed out I would be if my boyfriend wasn't the absolute best one in the entire world.

10:57pm:

be sorted @ nimbo.net


DUH.

<33. hEATHER.

12:04pm: me = nervous (and in pain)
okay, so.. its March 11th, which means in 8 days, I'll be at a VFW Luncheon receiving an award, and then in 10 days I'll be briefing some very important people during a Formal Inspection. and I am soo fucking scared its ridiculous. If I mess this up, we could lose JROTC, for good. That's how serious this is, and people just don't realize it.

Anyway, the pain part of my title refers to me burning my arm, and scraping part of my knuckle off at work. Good times at my work. No, really, there are. Chelcie, the dirty (literally) slut (yup) left. She's slept with 18 men, and goes 3 days without taking shower, all the time. I'm so happy now. I'll be more willing to work.

And.. its a weekend, which I love, because I get to spend more time with Jonathan, and I get to make him breakfast, which I usually do most weekends. I love making him breakfast and stuff. I mean, 3 and a half years, we're practically married. (and only the best couple around except maybe Wes and Brie)

Last thing I have to say... I FINALLY GOT MY PINK 60 GIG PHOTO IPOD!!! But.. it still has stuff on it, like pictures of little kids in a bathtub, and rap music. haha. But I'm still very excited. Anyone wanna but a 20 gig 4th generation Ipod for about $150? haha I'll probably just put mine on ebay.

I'm ushering Anything Goes tomorrow, and I cant wait to see it because I heard it was good. I'll try to update more often.

<33, hEATHER

11:33am: wow.. its march.
okay, so.. I figured I would update before march came around, but y'know, guess again. not much has happened in my life except two things(and they make me sound like a loser):

- I have this VFW lunch thing to go to march 19, because its honoring our JROTC's top cadet. On the paper it said I was "CPT Heather Green". That's a captain, one higher than what I am now, a 1st lieutenant.

and

- Formal Inspection is coming up, and I'm going to be running it as the Senior Cadet. So.. that means.. I'll be the first and last person they see, I'll probably be head of inspection, I'll be briefing and battalion commander, and as the S3, which is a staff position they just moved me out of the one I've been in since like 9th grade to.



other than that... I'm depressed. end of story. I wish more people would see it, but the only time you can see it is outside of school. during school is when I'm most like who I used to be, and who I am. fun. now I'm a fucking party pooper outside of school, and I don't have fun, and I just don't feel happy. last night I went to Olive Garden with Jonathan, Karl, and Sean. on the way back I just thought to myself, "if I could just get into a car accident, and only I died, I would be happy". Like I thoroughly thought this through. (ew, gross alliteration). I don't know.. and I don't know how many more times I have to tell someone in my family that I want to talk to someone before they take me seriously. they know I have a history of depression, and even self harm, so know I feel they just don't give a shit.

oh well.. I'll just go with the flow.

<33, hEATHER.

11:19am: wow.. long time no update
okay.. lets start from the beginning and work our way up. (the beginning meaning Friday, the 10th because I don't remember anything before that)

Friday the 10th
We went to a show that had four bands, but we only stayed for two (Gray Haven, and Flash Grenade) I love em' both, I don't care what anyone says, they rock my socks.

Saturday the 11th
Jonathan and I got into a big fight because I didn't want to go home early because of snow, so he called me a stupid bitch, and gave me a bruise from holding my arm too tight. I'm not real mad or upset or anything, because its out first fight EVER like that.

Sunday the 12th
eh.. I had work, and nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Monday the 13th
okay, so.. we did it 3 times. we were making up for the lack of being able to do it on vaneltines day.

Tuesday the 14th VALENTINES DAY!
Valentines day was GREAT! I got a bajillion things, including the perfume I wanted (Fantasy by Britney Spears). I also got a rose, and balloons, and candy, and blah blah blah. we went out to eat, and everything went well.

Wed & Thurs. the 15th and 16th
they were okay. haha

Today
stayed home from school, just because i wanted to. y'know.
Hopefully this day wont be too long with my mom. most of them are horribly long. I got a whole bunch of CD's from the library, including Clap Your Hands Say Yea!!!!! It's wonderful. Soo.. i'll probably finish ripping them to my comp. and then do whatev.

<3, hEATHER.

12:18pm: a much needed update
okay.. so.

I didn't quit my job because at almost $8.96 an hour its pretty damn hard to quit. Besides, its not that bad with Chelcie anymore, and theres a new girl for her to be bitchy to.

Katie Martin took over Alpha 2. but oh well. Col. Kahl, and Sgt. Mjr told me two thing.. one, I'm being moved from S-1 (admin... promotions and awards) to S-3 (operations, like field trips, and I don't even know what yet) and two, I'm briefing the guys doing the formal inspection in march as the senior cadet, and S-3. WTF. I love the S-1 position and JUMS and stuff and they're taking me away!! ugh.

Lice are officially gone. Hallelujah.

Last night Jonathan and I went to the mall, and we met up with Manya, Beth, and Brandie. We went to rue-21 because I need underwear. and we had a crazy good time there, flinging them, and reading what they say, and watching Brandie try to figure out how they went. Then we went to Friday's, and the food was good, and we had a really good time. Jonathan was being nice to all of them too =).

I have a shit load of homework to do this weekend. I have an essay to write for English, and a whole project to do (with Rick, Christine, Jon, and Aaron of course, the usuals) and like 2 makeup work packets all for APUSH.

Plus, I work today, and tomorrow.

We'll see how this works.

<33, hEATHER.

4:27pm: sloooow
wow. time has been dragging by. I thought I hadn't updated in like 15 days, but it turns out its only been like 6. Jeez. Well, heres an update.

Jessie got lice, so I've been checking my hair a lot. I've been to the nurse twice and still nothing, but I'm still so paranoid its ridiculous.

I'm quitting my job tomorrow because it sucks big time.

PT was okay today actually. I LOVE alpha 1 now, and alpha 2 is still pretty awesome.

Jonathan's been a selfish pig with sex lately, but still an awesome boyfriend. {He's still a work in progress}

I bought an Ipod. And I'm sleepy. So I'm going to sleep.

<33, hEATHER

12:32am: {blank}
I HATE when people steal my away messages, and then think that they know more about love/ are more in love than me. ugh.

But that person always copies stuff I do anyway, so whatev.

My report card sucks this quarter. My job sucks, but my last paycheck was almost $300 and I didn't even work that much, and I'm on the rocks with Jonathan.

WTF, I know. My life is slowly falling apart. Oh, and I'm def. getting some kind of drug this weekend, just to make it a little better.

JROTC is driving me crazy, but I get a new class full of idiots (except Katie and maybe 2 others) again. Should be fun.

I went to walmart and cashed my check. I bought four pairs of pants because I gained more weight and got fatter and now half of my old jeans don't cover my ass.

Oh, and regardless of how my relationship is, I'm still in love. =)

<33, hEATHER.

4:32pm: Jonathan and I
Jonathan and I aren't doing as well as I'd like, but I'm hoping for improvement. I started writing him a note today in school, and I'm going to finish it before I start my homework. It says the things we need to change, which is basically how much time we spend together NOT having sex. In like the past week that's all we've done. I'm glad we can still be like that after 3 years, but I'd like it to be like it was before we both got jobs, and a good balance of sex and love. Things will improve though.

School's okay. I got a 6 on my APUSH essay, and I'm really close to a B. chances are I'll get 3 A's and 2 B's overall.

ugh. homework.

<33, hEATHER

10:55am: R.I.P. BILLY DER
Billy and I weren't close when we got older, but he was ALWAYS over my cousins house, so I saw him a lot then. I used to call him dictionary because he was so smart. I hate to think about this whole thing. It just drives me crazy. I mean, why did he have to go? There was absolutely no reason for this, so no, not everything happens for a reason. Here's what happened: He was leaving his girlfriends house. She has really narrow roads and there was construction going on around there. On top of that, it was foggy, and he had a head light out. He miss took a corner and ran into a tree.
Everyone was at guidance that day, and even the next day was pretty bad too. I'm just getting around to writing this because I didn't really want to think about it. I'll probably go to the viewing, but not the funeral. I think the funeral should be immediate family, and those that were really close and cared. The last time I actually talked to him for more than 2 minutes was last summer, and I asked him if he remembered me, and of course he did, and then we talked about his sister. I saw her at the mall playing DDR one day. He said that she plays it because he plays it. She obviously looked up to him. I hope her and his older brother are okay. He'll be missed by everyone, that's for sure.

You'll always be my dictionary.
R.I.P. Billy Der.
1987-2006


<3, hEATHER

10:00pm: walmart
I just went to walmart and bought INSTANT OATMEAL!!

OATMEEEEAAAALLLL

8:51pm: frustration is..
ugh. I had to unhook everything from my computer and hook at all back up again because of when my mom took my monitor away. Justin(Moms boyfriend) unplugged EVERYTHING, and then there was a tangled mess and I couldn't find the power cord for my speakers, and I cant get on a quiet computer unless I'm doing major homework on it.

And then I left my purse at Jonathans when he went to work, but he brought it to me on his break because hes a sweet heart.

I think I did poorly on the APUSH midterm, which diminishes my hopes for a B, and my trig grade is def. going to stay a B, which means I'm going to do hella studying for the final so I can get an A.

Jonathan gets off at 9, and we're going to walmart for some things. (stockings for my uniform mostly).

I have work tomorrow.. and no ride yet. SUCKS.

I took an hour nap in physics. And I mean, I was like dead asleep.
ehh.. whatev.

<33, hEATHER

11:18pm: the equation is... poop.
ugh.

stress.

Grades are..
JROTC: A
Trig: C
Physics: A
AP English: A
AP History: C

Trig I can bring up with all my missing homeworks and stuff, and with APUSH, he said if I get higher than a 56% (which is my test score avg), and I get at least a C, I should be able to get a B, which is all I hope for with that class.

I got about 2 hours of good sleep last night, and I'm getting up early with Jonathan probably all this week.

I still have 6 trig homework assignments to do tonight, and notes for my open note history mid-term.

Today was awesome until I got called into work, but I went in late, and left early, and still got what I wanted from Jonathan, so it was still pretty good.

I'm hoping for a B in APUSH!!! Send me wishes.

<33, hEATHER

10:16pm: my computer = back, but for how long?
Okay, soo.. I just pretty much took my monitor back. And if I don't pick my clothes up it goes away again.

whatev. I don't care too much. The smart thing to do would be to pick my clothes up, but.. I'm just not in a smart mood. haha.

Jonathan and I took Jessie (little sis) to whitemarsh and olive garden. It was an absolute nightmare considering one a special needs child is wound up, she's not going to stop. Needless to say J.C Penneys was ridiculous, and she was "super Jessie" and running around. wow.

I had work today, which wasn't that bad because I got to work with someone else on my shift (pots).

I really don't have time at all to be updating because I have a whole fucking english project to do still, and attempt to organize my notes for my APUSH midterm. ugh. what the fuck.

Jonathan and I both don't work tomorrow, so I should be in a good mood for the next few days. =)

<33, hEATHER

5:32pm: AHHHHH
Last night was ridiculous.

My mom and I got into an argument, and yea, most of it was my fault, but she's totally unbearable, and unreasonable, and just ridiculous.
Soo.. I walk out, and go to Jonathans work, and sit in his car for about 45 minutes, and then I don't get home until about 11. Jonathan and I argued a little too, but I think that was mostly because he didn't know how he could help me.
I eventually went home, and my mom bitched at me some more. When I went back to my room, my computer monitor was gone. I was pissed, because I had planned to study for a grammar quiz. I talked to Jonathan on the phone, and I asked him to look the stuff up for me, but I gave up.

I mean, I got 100% on it without studying, but still.. she shouldn't have done that.

bitch.

Moving on to other topics..

I get a call around 3 to come into work. FUUUUUCKKK NO. I worked Tuesday, Wednesday, and I work tomorrow ad the weekend. I am not being called in again. They can find someone else. Twice in like 8 days is too much.

Right now I'm at Jonathans, and I'll be here all night even though he's at work. His parents understand why I don't want to go home today. Besides, I have his room all to myself, and I'll probably take a nap.

I hope tonight goes a little better with my mom.

Oh, and CSI is on from 8:00 to 10:00!!
Two episodes, One new! ahh!1! EXCITED11!

<33, hEATHER

10:55pm: =) =) =)
I got to see Jonathan... before Friday after work! w00t! I thought I wouldn't be able to see him for a while.

LOVE.

Oh, and someone though Jonathan might be married because of the promise rings we got eachtoher for our 3 year anniversary. Mine kind of looks like an engagement ring a teenager could afford. I think it's cute.

<33, hEATHER

{USELESS ENTRY}

8:34pm: today was major SUX0RS
ugh. Today was awful. Between being tired at school and getting talked to about being battalion commander, to getting bitched at and nit picked at at work, it was awful. Everything I did at work was wrong, and I had to re-do it, because Ms. Debbie was in a bad mood.
Okay, okay, school wasn't THAT bad, but, I mean, how good can school be anyway?

My back really hurts, and so does most of my upper body. And I don't even know why.
I'm going to lay down, and most likely go to sleep too, at least till Jonathan gets off work.

There is only one really good thing that happened to me today.
Hailey Jo










<33, hEATHER

11:03pm: 8.. times..
8 times.

8 God damned times.

And it was wonderful.

When I get bored, I'm going to take come of my DJ entries and transfer them here.

But that won't be for a while.


I have big bucks now.. which means I work a lot, and shop a lot. (oh, and obviously do other things a lot).

Last paycheck: $$$241

I know, I just bragged, but we all have to sometimes.

<33, hEATHER.

1:38pm: what.. the.. FUCK.

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Learn to lick my own elbow. Get your resolution here

haha.

Last day of break before school. ugh.
and I have to spend the majority of it working on a project. SUXXX00000RSSSS.

and it looks like the final number will be 7.
my goal was 8.

I still have tonight though. hmm..


I've recently decided.. I hate school. Hate it.

And I have a really bad pimple on my chin.

</3, hEATHER

11:58pm: January 1st 2006!!
My first day of 2006 was amazing.

I did it.. twice.

That makes 7 over the entire break.

I'm sad about school.
And my nose hurts from un-nice tissues.

I drank on new years eve, I feel naughty.

Oh, and I want a baby.

<33. hEATHER